Ok – last night I am watching some recorded Joyce Meyer shows and finally decide to watch one more and bingo – it was the one I needed to see.
You know – Monday was a bad day and I have written some hard stuff. God always sends me the right message when I need it the most.
During her show she was interviewing one of her staff who had been receiving questions from viewers for Joyce to answer or give her input on. Right in the middle of the show Joyce turns to the viewers and says, “I’m sorry, but I feel very strongly that I must pray for someone whose just lost their child or the child is sick, etc.” – I nearly fell off the couch. I began to have tears running down my face. As I prayed along with her – I felt so much better. Glory!
I am reminded of how God has blessed me so many times since Brittany’s death. I know it’s hard to believe I can even acknowledge that – but it’s true. He truly loves me and lets me know on a regular basis that I am his and he will never leave me. This is something I didn’t realize or know before her death. I’ve always believed in God – not always been faithful. Esp. when my mom died at age of 48 while I was 7 months pregnant with Brittany. I walked away from God then, and felt he didn’t care about me.
I was wrong. It took the loss of my daughter for me to wake up and see where my life was going. Not in a good direction I’ll tell you. I’m a good person, love my work, loved my kid unconditionally – but I was not living a life for God. I was not bringing people to the Lord. He let me know that I now need to make that my mission for the rest of my days.
Let me tell you one thing – I can get through the death of my only child ONLY by the GRACE of GOD. Yes I may have bad days and I may write some very dark stuff – but that’s normal. But I also see hope even in my darkest days. That is God’s gift to me. I know now without any doubt that I will be seeing my little girl again in heaven. Yes I will be in heaven. God has challenged me to live for Him. I’ve been given a new chance at life to live the way he wanted me to live.
You can too. I say to anyone who reads my blog, that if you don’t know Christ – please know you life will be forever changed if you accept him as your Lord. My life is and will be a testimony of what God can do in your life if you let him.
May God reap many blessings on your life. Those of you who support me and continue to support me – you know you are storing up a pile of blessings for yourself in heaven. Glory!!!!