My mother has been gone for 37 years and while I miss her so very much; I’m not the 31 year old pregnant mother that I was when she died. Today, at 68, I grieve the concept of not having a mother in my life. A mother to help me through the darkest times of my life. To laugh with me. To hug me when I need a hug only a mother can give. I have never really looked at it this way, but in retrospect, it makes total sense. 

My mom was always so very supportive. She never offered advice unless it was solicited and then she did not hold back. She would always end it with “I may not agree with you, but it is ultimately your decision and one you’ll have to live with”. That one always got me. I feel lucky to have had 31 years with her.

I have a letter she wrote me while I was living in Dallas trying to find my build my career in advertising and marketing. She wasn’t fond of me living alone in the “big city”, but supported me all the way. In that letter, her encouragement of me was written in love and trust. She knew she’d raised me to make the right decisions. And while I did not always, I understood the consequences and was prepared to make things right.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see her and occasionally, that image has stopped me in my tracks. It is in those moments, that I truly miss her and the essence of her. A girl never outgrows needing her mother’s love.

Until Next Time,

M