The Burden of Doubt

Chapter 17 – God’s Loving Pursuit

The Burden of Doubt

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life” Psalm 23:4 NKJV

Continuing my series on blogging through Max Lucado’s book “Traveling Light” – and how it relates to the grieving heart. This has been quite the journey and one I hope touches your heart has it has mine.

Our moods may shift, but God’s doesn’t. Our minds may change, but God’s doesn’t. Our devotion may falter, but God’s never does. Even if we are faithless, he is faithful, for he cannot betray himself (2 Tim. 2:13). He is a sure God. And because he is a sure God, we can state confidently. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” – Max Lucado “Traveling Light”

In reading this chapter several things came to me about the story Lucado shares to demonstrate the fact that God follows us. Relentlessly. He follows us. Here is where I will tell you I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has relentlessly followed me, chased me down, spoke to me though dreams, through people, through death and through life. Because why? Because He is God.

After Brittany’s death I longed for answers from God about why. Why would I have to endure such suffering. Why would he allow such a horrible thing happen in my life. Brittany’s death wasn’t the first horrible event in my life – just so you know. There have been many, too many to share. I have written about them – but they remain contained in the private part of my blog. They are still too painful to see.

Yet through it all God relentlessly came after me. Time and time again. Showing me that despite all the loss and pain – he loved me. He loved me enough to send just the right message when I needed it. People came into my life that I would have never thought would be. And people left the same way.

God doesn’t always use the methods we would to run after, chase or at some point, stalk someone. I like to think of it as a flower arrangement that God is creating in one’s life. Always refreshing the bouquet in order to keep the beauty alive, fresh and new. When one flower is about to fall away – he takes it and put another in its place. That is how my life has been. God has always showed up.

Now I’m not saying God showed up when I wanted him to. He choses when and decides how he will move in and out of one’s life. That’s what I love about God the most. No matter how lonely I feel or how hurt I am – he loves me so much that he will refresh my life if only I will not get in the way. Because you know we do like to mess it up. With thoughts of “I got this” or “I can fix this” – but really it should be more like “God – I give it to you” – because God has got it covered already. So why work so hard? Right.

Have you ever felt like someone is watching you? I get that some times. Now as my faith has grown I believe it’s God in his relentless watch over me and his desire to keep me close. In this chapter Lucado refers to the word “follow” – God is following us. I laughed out loud at that statement, because as many of you know I am on Twitter a lot. And on Twitter people “follow” you so they can see what you have to say.

Ironically I always think it’s so funny that people want to know what I have to say. But in thinking about God as a follower of me – just felt so weird. So I envisoned seeing my follow list and seeing God there. And I got sense that God is following me. Sometimes feverishly following me, pushing me, pulling me here and there. Giving me life. Keeping me vulnerable to Him.

I love that about God. Because without his relentless pursuit – life wouldn’t be worth living. So the next time you think someone is following you, turn around and envision God – because He is there and will be there anytime you need him. I know. Boy do I know.

until next time