I ‘ve been battling a cold now for a few days. It’s basically kicking my butt. I’m hoping it’s gone by the weekend.
Went to the Indy Qualifications at Speedway last weekend. Haven’t done that in a long while. My friend Julie came down to spend time with me. You know, Mother’s Day weekend and all. I was glad she came, even though I had tried to talk her out of coming. Having her here did keep my mind off of missing my girl, but as usual, it creeps back in and takes a hold of me like nothing ever has.
Then I get an email from a family member that her daughter hasn’t come home. She says that she was feeling bad about things and on Mother’s Day was feeling down, and then she remembered me. Thinking how bad I must be feeling. I told her that I think what she is going through is far worse. I know without a doubt my daughter is safe and healthy in God’s arms. I wouldn’t want to be worried about where she was or who she was with. I can’t imagine having that worry. I did with Brit, but now I don’t. In all of my grief, I have to hold onto the positives – however they come.
In my grief, I do find comfort when I think of how she is doing or what she is experiencing. Then if I begin to think about me and how her absence is effecting me, then I get truly sad and don’t want to continue on. Don’t see the reason to. So that is why I choose to keep my thoughts on other things, but sometimes, I just don’t get a choice.
Keep praying for me, as I continue to battle finding my purpose!
Pray for my family too!
until next time,