Haven’t written any thing lately. Not much has changed and I don’t have much to say. The grief is still present and it hurts just as much. But I know everyone is tired of hearing about it. Frankly I’m tired of thinking about it. It’s my fate to be here in this time and to live on despite my grief. I have to learn to live with it in my way. It’s too painful to think about let a lone talk about.
When people ask me “do you have any children” I just nod and say yes. I was saying “I did, but she passed on” – well they just get embarrased and I politely change the subject. It’s easier to just say yes and change the subject. I never knew how painful a question could be – yet it is so innocent. People just want to know you.
I believe I’m becoming more hardened and most likely will not let love back in my life again. Loss has been a major part of my life and I’m tired of experiencing it.
I have decided to close down my blog in the next week or so. I know everyone has moved on. And they are ready for me to move on.
I’ll just pretend.
until next time,