I’ve been reminded these past few days that Brittany was a gift to me, even if it was only 17-1/2 years. And, that I should see it that way. To be grateful for God sending her to me. Truly I am grateful for her. She taught me so much. She endured pain most of her life. She was sent here to make me a better person. To change who I was and where my life was going.
I remember how I felt when she first got sick at 11 months of age. I thought I would die if she didn’t make it. Now I know it was God’s intention all a long to keep her here with me until I learned what I needed to learn. She lived her life to the fullest despite many obstacles. When she was younger she didn’t understand why people treated her so mean or why they didn’t understand her or accept her. But as she became older, especially towards the last few years of her life, she came to accept that she was who she was and that was OK! Through that she smiled even though she didn’t feel like it.
She was bullied most of her school days, yet smiled everyday and entered school with a new attitude. When I think back now on all of these times when she pressed on. I too, am learning that I need to press on and not give up. To smile everyday, despite not wanting to. To try and live the best life I can. Even though it’s hard to imagine life going on without her.
Does it make me less sad, no. But it gives me hope. She taught me so much, that was her job. One day at a time, I will keep going towards my new life. Never to forget she lived. Today I found something unique for the scrapbook I’m working on:
Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I’m so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.
I never knew how much I’d grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.
God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we’ll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.
He’ll turn to joy my every tear
with thoughts of you I hold so dear,
and they’ll become my special way
to treasure our Reunion Day.
It came with a silver heart that has a hole in it. This poem speaks to how I feel to a “T”. I couldn’t have written it any better.
until next time,