Chapter 14: The Cloud of Witnesses
From: A Grace Disguised
By: Jerry Sittser

My series is about to wind down and I feel like I have distanced myself a bit from my blog because I have entered a part of the book that leaves me somewhat unsettled within my own spirit.

This chapter offers a quick reminder to me of the many parts people have played in my survival these past few years. Like the author I have taken great comfort in many ways to people who have come and gone before me, yet suffered a great loss – but still believed that our God is an awesome God.

Take Job for instance. I’ve written about Job so many times in this blog over the many years and still to this day – his story, his loss, his experience – is one of the most impactful stories I’ve read. For the most part it was knowing what it was like to lose everything, imagining his pain, asking the same questions he did of God, and enduring many hours of anguish over the unanswered “why”. Walking away with no answers to my questions, pain still very present, yet still believing, as Job, that God is in control.

Then there has been music. Music plays a key role in my spiritual journey. It always has and I imagine it always will. Not all of it is faith-based, yet the stories they tell have been so parallel to what I felt or still feel about my life to this day.

One of the first artists I came to know is Ginny Owens. Her song “If you want me to” was playing on the radio one day while I was driving home to house I lived in with my daughter. I struggled daily to go home, because for me it was no longer a home. It was a painful reminder every day when I drove in the drive way the magnitude of my loss.

When I heard this song, I knew from that moment I would survive but I also knew it wouldn’t be easy.

Then there were songs that spoke the words I felt so many times, yet afraid to speak.

This song by Mary J Blige really spoke those words for me…..

Finally one of the songs that inspired me to see her in person because it was after I heard this song, I knew my future would be ok.

Over the past few years so many of my dear friends, family and sometimes even strangers have been my “Cloud of Witnesses” as well. At the end of the day the one thing I know for sure is that my life here on this earth will be short compared to the life I’ll have in Heaven. So I have to make the best of the life I have here so I can take as many of you with me as I can.

So now I join the “Cloud of Witnesses” for those who will come after me – to continue to keep the light on God and the focus on life and the purpose we have to live the best life God made us to have.

until next time,

m