Mother’s Day

Mother’s day to me has become the worst holiday of them all. It has become meaningless in the face of tragic loss and a fragmented life left in its wake. But once it passes – I will again see the beauty of life and all it has to offer….but until then I cry, I weep, I mourn and I do it without shame or without regret for it is my journey to healing…

 

When you lose your only child, and your mother, and your grandmother – Mother’s Day becomes a day you dread more than any other. Over the past four years since my daughter’s death, I have come to dread this day over her “angel” day, her birthday or any other holiday.

When Mother’s day comes around each year I open up my little memory box of things I was able to save after my mom passed away on September 16th, 1988. She was only 48. I was seven months pregnant and she tried to hold on until Brittany was born, but didn’t quite make it.

One of the most precious things in the box is a letter she wrote to me many years ago when I apparently was struggling with a rough spot in my life. I’m going to share this letter with you because it truly shows the champion she was for my life and anyone who knew her.

Dearest Missie

Just wanted you to know how much I love you and how much I am so very proud that God chose to let me have y ou for my daughter. There is no other mother in this universe that feels as blessed as I do. And even tho I have to share you with your “nanny” and dear old “dad” there’s still enough for me too and I am grateful for that. You are very special to us in our lives! There is not a day that goes by that we don’t think about “you all”! Ha-Ha! How was that accent?

I think your problems will all work in your favor, baby! Just hang in there a little longer.  I know for a fact that you are a very strong person and very level-headed. You always seem to be able to work these kind of problems out. Have faith sweetie!

And please, don’t forget what I told you about calling me anytime, day or night. I’ll be here if you want to talk to me. If there is anything I can do for you, baby, don’t hesitate for one minute to call. We love you and we want to help in any way we can. Ok?

But hurry up and get me some pictures of you in your new clothes and especially your new hair do. I’m very anxious to see it before it grows out. Daddy Mack just called to see if I had talked to y ou yet and I said yes. He just wanted to make sure. We all love you very much, honey and will be tickled to death to see you at Christmas. I will get together with your brothers soon and let you know.

All my love, your mother and your friend

Every daughter should have a letter from their mother like this. So if you are a mother to anyone, I would encourage you to write this type of uplifting hand-written letter to your daughter or son, because I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that my moms words have carried through some pretty rough spots.

Even though my mother has passed for many years, this letter continues to lift me up and makes me feel as if I could achieve anything. I was blessed for 30 years to have one of the best moms ever. She always believed in me no matter what I was doing. She was my champion, my friend, my rock.

I miss you mom each and every day.

until next time

m

 

 

 

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