Today I started my day with about 3 hours of sleep. And well as you may know that is NOT a good way to start your day. By afternoon I was in a sour mood and it only got worse from there. I decided that I wanted to still go over and see my new apartment as I had not seen it yet. When I got there I was so disappointed in a few of the details. It must have shown on my face as the gentlemen I was working with noticed right away and said “I’m so sorry you are sad”. For which I responded “No it’s more like disappointed”.
My emotions got the better of me and I just wanted to run to my car and cry. I was so crushed and over such a trivial detail like counter tops. I mean really. Counter tops. I called my partner and I said to her all about it and how upset I was. Ranted and raved over what I was going to do. She suggested I just get some rest and write about it. Hence the blog post and my asking you to indulge me for just a few paragraphs as it gets better. J
I noticed I needed to stop for gas and which further irritated me because I was so tired – remember! When I’m tired I tend to get a bit nasty with my attitude. I got out of my car and began to pump gas and I looked up to see an elderly man walk up to me. As he did I noticed he looked a little worn for wear. His clothes were dirty and he looked like he hadn’t showered in a few days or weeks. He politely told me that he had run out of gas and at that moment I looked down and saw he was carrying a gas can. I asked him “how much does it hold”? He said it was a five gallon jug. In the back of my mind, I am perturbed that he has chosen me out of all of the people getting gas at that moment in time. But I continued to pump my gas and thinking “should I or should I not” – during this very uncomfortable 5 minutes we bantered back and forth with polite conversation. He began to pay me compliments and said something like “you are very beautiful” and I said “oh thanks” I said I have good genes. For which he said oh your mom must be beautiful and I said curtly – she has passed on. He said oh I’m sorry. I said me too. Then he said you don’t like to pump gas do you. I said “no not really – I think it’s dangerous”. For which he replied – I’ll do it for you. But ohhhh the very skeptical self said “no I can do it”. Then he said something that made me pause…. “You must have had a bad day” – I hope your day gets better now”. Then I felt a shift in my thoughts about what was happening right in front of me.
As I completed filling my tank, I then reached down and pumped a few gallons of gas into his gas can. I completed the purchase and closed up the gas lid. He turned and said thank you very much. I said “you are welcome” and then he turned to me and said “God Bless You”! And it hit me like a ton of bricks. We were meant to cross paths at that very moment. He was there to teach me something. I was so bent out of shape over something so trivial as a counter top when this man clearly was struggling to purchase enough gas to get home. I just wanted to crawl back into my car and cry. I felt so ashamed. I knew God had sent this man to me to teach me that there are more important things in life than material things. While they are nice they should not be such that it impacts my behavior or worth.
I love it when God shows up in my life to teach me these lessons. Life lessons.
So tonight in my prayers I prayed for myself to see more clearly and for that man at the gas station to have a blessing bestowed upon him and for Alyssa, a young girl who lost her battle with cancer today – for her parents who have to begin this journey of grief that we all know too well. I pray that God continues to bless each one of us beyond measure so that we can bless others and sometimes that begins with a simple lesson in humility.
Until next time,
M
I was getting ready for another sleepless night myself when i got this in email. I was meant to get this tonight. I have really been struggling with this grief and missing my daughter. Your story was really speaking to my heart. And then as I got to the end I knew I was meant to get this. My daughter’s name is Alyssa and she died after a short courageous battle with cancer. Thank you for sharing your soul in your blog. It has helped me. Thank you.
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2014 04:11:46 +0000 To: dgallaher999@msn.com
Hugs!!!