So today Andy Stanley closed out his series called In The Meantime and for me this has been one of the most personal series that I have connected with in a long time. I have written about the importance of “fellowship” in prior blog posts and cannot stress enough that having a “mentor” or “friend” to walk along side you during your dark time is vital for both parties.
When I blogged through Jerry Sittser’s book “A Grief Disguised” Chapter 14 – A Cloud of Witnesses I found that this chapter was a great example of the importance of understanding how we as experienced grievers need to surround the people who have joined our journey to lift them up and keep the focus on God’s comfort and grace. As Andy mentioned today in installment six of his series that giving comfort is life-giving to not only the person it’s intended for but for the giver as well. That has been so true for me. I understood very quickly what my purpose was in all of this mess. Losing Brittany and going through this devastating loss I would not have chosen. What good could possibly come from that?
I remember in the wee hours of the morning around 2-3 am I was sitting next to Brittany’s bed praying hard to God. Praying for healing. That God would heal her and she would wake up. Understanding that my faith was strong at this time and I knew God could and would save my Brittany had that been His plan. But, it was not. That at first was hard to swallow. I was so upset with God because I couldn’t reconcile why. Once I understood that it was not His plan and that Brittany had done her work here on earth I began to see that at some point along my journey I would understand my role and purpose.
I’ve had the honor and privilege of speaking with several mom’s post Brittany’s death. Moms who lost their daughters or sons and who found themselves in unfamiliar territory of moving through the stages of grief. Through my writing I was able to put some sort of perspective on why I found myself on this journey and how I chose to take a path that would require a great amount of energy and fight. You see for me finding a meaningful way to live my life without my daughter has not been easy, but I understood I had to find a way otherwise I wasn’t honoring her life here on earth. It just wasn’t an option.
For the remainder of my days I will find a way to honor my daughter’s life and God’s desire for me to be who He made me to be. My purpose has been laid out before me and the path has been well defined. I have been supremely equipped to comfort those who need it and to be comforted that my story has helped others. I want to thank Andy Stanley for elevating this topic and for helping to see that even while we are in the midst of our “meantime” experience we can choose the path that leads to God.
Until next time,