Tomorrow marks the 14th year that my daughter has been gone from this earth. It feels like yesterday and like forever ago. A different lifetime ago. Like it was a bad dream. I was in someone else’s life then I awake and realize it was my life. That is the sting of grief.

“There are days that will always hold the memory and title of the worst day of your life.” No matter how many years have passed, the memories will flood our mind and break our hearts. I stay busy and quietly suffer the worst feeling because, well it’s so painful you don’t want to share it. You don’t want to speak it because in doing so you hear those words come to life that have been trapped in your heart and mind for so long.

And then as October 13th closes in, I can’t hold it in any more. The tears fall and I fall to my knees so broken from the anguish. One of my favorite grief writers Susie Duke wrote from her book Grieving Forward, “And I’ll remember that tears are the evidence of love’s power that is always alive and present. Love that calls me into the infinity of hope and promise of reunion and joy unspeakable.”

“You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle. You have recorded every one in your book.” Psalm 56:8

The tears stop, the crushing pain in my chest goes away and I pick myself up and get back to life. All knowing that one day, I shall be reunited with her again.

Until Next Time,

M