Thursday the 18th I left for Cabo San Lucas to attend my brother’s wedding. I was asked to be the “professional Photographer” for their wedding. They had asked me a few months ago (right after my daughter died) and I said no. A week before the event, they asked again. So I went.
Never been to Cabo – so it was exciting to be somewhere else that doesn’t remind me of my loss. I really needed to get away from my house and the haunting memories of Brittany. As I sit here now writing this I become teary eyed.
That’s what happens to me now – tearful when I stay too long in some thought about her, tear up and then it goes away. Haven’t had a huge breakdown in weeks – Is that bad?
Happened several times in Cabo. At breakfast I sat looking out of the Sea of Cortez and became lost in my thoughts about how much I missed her. I would realize I had tears in my eyes and I quickly would wipe them away take a deep breath and divert my thinking elsewhere.
I miss her. Then I think God has given me an opportunity to do something else with my life – but what.
I have started to feel bad like weird or guilty about how much time had passed since I had grieved so boldly, so passionately over losing my most precious girl. I can’t stop the tears now. They are over powering me as I sit on this plan enroute to Houston. I just asked the lady beside me if I could trouble her for a kleenex. Thank goodness she had one. I’m trying not to bring any attention to myself.
more on Cabo later….