Blah

Where have you gone?
Do you know how much I miss you?
In my darkest moment I am angry,
angry you are not here to be with me.

That is selfish. But I’m a mom you see.
With no other children to nurture. I am
left to tend to my own wounds. Deep and
painful wounds of loss and pain.

What I found so easy to do for you, I
cannot do for myself. This place I am
now is so uncomfortable. Caring for myself.
It’s foreign to me.

Lost in a vacuum of a perpetual darkness.
Swirling around and around until I’m so dizzy.
When it stops and I can see – it’s nothing I know.
Not even me.

I miss you so. I’m knocked out and down and I
don’t know how to get up. When does this stage go
away? When does the pain begin to get better? Will it
be too late for me? Will I survive it?

I miss you so.

until next time,

m

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