Update

It’s been a while – so much has been going on and I haven’t had much to say. The snow here is endless and it’s so cold. But Spring must be coming soon. Right?

It’s now approaching 5 months since my girl went to her heavenly home. It’s seems like yesterday some days and some days it seems like forever since I have seen her. I miss her so – I find it is really better to just not think about it. When I do it is hard to breathe. It’s hard to imagine life without that funny girl keeping me laughing and always entertaining me with her dancing or singing. I have a great video of her from last summer with her friend Carolyn – singing and dancing. It’s the way I want to remember her most. Happy and carefree!

She is by far the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. The emptiness is hard to bare, but I do it because I have to. I don’t cry as often, I don’t wail as often, I don’t think of her as often, but I miss her like there is no tomorrow. I think that is because she was so much a part of my life. My life centered around her. Everything I did, I did with her in mind.

Now I must move on to the next chapter in my life. I am moving back to my hometown. Back with family. Start my new life. Whatever that is suppose to be I don’t know, I just know it can’t be where I am now. It’s just too painful to be here.

until next time,

mercedes

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