Grieving is like having two heads on your shoulders. One head is trying to keep on a happy face, so that anyone who crosses my path wouldn’t know how much I am hurting. The other head is crying and sad. The two sometimes are competing for dominance. I spend a great deal of time trying to find somewhere in the middle to exist. Some days are better than others. I do very well at keeping things in check – well – at least on the outward appearance. But on the inside, I’m dealing with a broken heart. On so many levels – my heart has been broken over my lifetime. Deep heart breaking life events. One’s that shouldn’t happen to one person again and again.

How do people survive this type of repetitive sadness? Some days I don’t have the energy to battle the demons that live within me. Just when I think I can’t bare another minute of sadness and loneliness, God sends me a message through my “little messengers”. Reminding me that I need to give it all to him and he will sustain me. My injustices will be made right by him. My sacrifices will be rewarded in Heaven. It truly is what I continue to hang on for. What makes me get up every day and keep getting through every minute of every day.

until the next time,