I have written about faith before, but I am writing about what faith means to me today. Which is vastly different than what faith meant to me when I started this journey October 13, 2006.

Today in a message I heard at church, I remembered something very key about my faith. That it is resilient; it is a blessing; it is the very breath I take; it is the soul of my being; it is my belief that there is a purpose. The question posed today was “how is your faith today?” – is it strong enough to withstand a life-changing event. No matter what it may be, no matter how difficult the circumstance is; can your faith sustain the trying time? Has something in your life happened that changed your life’s trajectory to another level? You may even be facing it right now, this very minute. How do you know if you have what it takes?

Saul was presented with a task he was not sure he was worthy of. In today’s message at church I learned that Saul didn’t think he came from a strong enough background to be a King. But God believed. Saul, in conversation with Samuel spoke of his believed lack of importance. But Samuel pushed on and instructed Saul to sit down and Samuel  treated him like royalty. Providing the finest meat for him to eat. Placed him at the head of the table. Then they worshiped together. Later Samuel had a message from God for Saul.

At the end of the message Saul was told that once a series of events would happen the Spirit of the Lord would come over him and he would be a changed person forever. Because Saul did what he was told, God did change Saul’s heart and all of the signs that Samuel had spoke to Saul about were fulfilled on that day.

What I took from this message was that so often we ask God “why”, we ask God “when” and we want it all now. In God’s timing things will come to those who wait. Those who are patient. Those who do His work. So often I have asked God “why” – why did my life take such a tragic turn. Why did I have to go down this path? For what purpose. But God being God is just asking me to do what He asked Saul to do. Be patient, believe and stay focused on doing the things I know He wants me to do and one day it will all be revealed. All the whys will be answered and they whens will have occurred and I will have been changed to a new person.

I know that this progression in faith has already started in me. As a human I question the slowness in timing, it doesn’t always seem logical. But God’s plan for me is only for good and I have to come to a place where I can trust that His Will will be done in my life and in yours too. I know it is still difficult for me some days to understand how losing your only child makes any sense. Nor how can I see how my life makes any sense. But God is in control and that control has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Giving up control over my life has been my truest test of my faith.

I’m a work in progress and I’m so thankful to my God that He remains forever patient with me and keeps directing me to a place where I can be at peace and begin to love life again. I hope He is doing that for you too. If not, find someone who has the knowledge and education to help you find the way. The road is long, but the journey is just beginning.

until next time

m