Hope in the midst of grief.

A video that was posted to my church’s website 6 months after her death. It was done to show how much her love of God shinned even through the toughest of times. And how I, even today, have carried that amazing love of God and strength to continue on.

Yes, it is difficult. Yes, at times I feel like I just want to die. Yes, I wish I could have her back again – right now. But as I said in the video then and still believe today that I know I will see her again and that is how I get through each and every minute of each and every day.

The love my daughter had for life despite being chronically ill most of her life still astounds me. I don’t know that I could have been that strong that young. But then again as I look back on my life. I too was a very strong young woman having endured many of life’s hard knocks.

But I am here today to tell you life does go on. Some days aren’t as pretty as others, and some days it seems as though I have taken a huge step backwards in my grief. But I know I have come far and I am still evolving into my “new normal”. The life God wants to me to have now.

Praying for guidance and for God to light my path because the dark days come and go. Knowing that He is with me has given me the lift I need each time to make it one more day. One day I will see my girl again and it will have all been worth it. All the pain, tears, sorrow and grief – will all be wiped away and there will be no more of it. God’s word assures me of that.

until next time

m