I woke up sometime during the night thinking about what Thanksgiving was like growing up as a child and young adult. Family looked different then. The entire extended family got together each Thanksgiving and we ate together, laughed together and prayed together. I was looking through photos of Thanksgiving past and it brought such mixed emotions to the surface.
Those memories are the ones that made us who we are as adults. I never realized how truly blessed I was to have such a great family who came together and celebrated as family each year. Then one by one they began to pass on. My great-grand father, aunts, uncles, mom, grandparents and daughter. Thanksgiving has never been the same for me. While I still try to get home for Thanksgiving to see my brothers and their families – it’s different.
Now this year I’m not even going home. Just when things begin to settle for me into a pattern that I could actually look forward to since Brittany’s death – it’s changed. Life has always been like that for me – different. Never staying the same for very long. Some of it by my own choice and some not. Nevertheless I find myself searching and trying to find my way at this point in my life. The meaning, the purpose, the “why”. I’m getting a bit old for this crap. That is all I know.
A turn of events is making this Thanksgiving one that I am looking forward to because my best friend of 30 years is coming to spend a week with me. Something we have wanted to do for so long and could never get it organized. My uncle is going to make a turkey on Thanksgiving and we are going to share and enjoy with his neighbors and friends. The blessings this year are ones that are not easily seen, but strongly felt.
I am blessed that I can still breathe
I am blessed that I can still see
I am blessed that I can still laugh
I am blessed that I can still cry
I am blessed that I am alive
This year look at your simple blessings and try to find that while your life may be totally different than what you would have wanted or asked for, it’s the simplicity of life that makes it easier to see what is truly important.
Until next time,