So this week one of Brittany’s friends shared a photo of a new friend that bore a strong resemblance to my Brittany. So strong that it not only impacted her friend, but me as well. I stared at that picture for a while and thinking what are the chances that Brittany created the opportunity for them to meet. I think very strong.

I know Brittany is always near. How do I know? Well I sense her in the environment, who comes and goes into and around my life, and the messages that i get through others. It’s not always apparent and it takes a great deal of openess on my part to stay “tuned into” what is surrounding me. I think the largest factor is where I spend the time to talk to her throughout my day. When I do that, I sense her more.

I see things that are around me that remind me of her and then I talk to her. Then I get an email from a friend giving me advice on the very thing I asked Brittany about. Kinda weird yet oh so cool. It happened a lot in the early days, but as I found ways to avoid thinking of her because the pain was too hard to bare, the less I felt her.

At some point i needed to stop being afraid to think of her and to mourn her so that I could open my eyes to her presence around me. It’s hard yet I want to feel her and have her continue to be present in my life. Not in the way I’d like, but I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.

I miss her more than I can say. That will never change.

Until next time

M