When Brittany was little, perhaps grade school age, each year as we approached Mother’s Day I’d hear her talk about the “surprise” she was making me in school for Mother’s Day. There were a variety of paintings using many different mediums, but my favorite ones were the ones where she used her fingers to paint. She would be so excited to bring it home and show off her work. Those were the best times.
As I sit here and just take in the memories, tears well up in my eyes and I look around at all these passengers on this flight and hope they do not notice. Mother’s day is so very difficult for me. It represents all that was taken from me. But it is also a day that I wish to honor all mothers whose children have passed.
We travel a lonely road this time of year. Mother’s day is one of the toughest to get through. And if this is your first Mother’s day, please understand and know that you are not alone. That we, those who follow this blog, and the many other moms who have lost children stand with you.
Time with loved ones sometimes can help, perhaps reminiscing about your child. Other times it’s good to just be alone and quietly spend time reflecting the great memories about your child. I have found some years are more difficult than others and I’ve had to work out or through my own emotions so that I could even function. Each year is different and each person’s grief is unique. It’s so important to find what works for you.
I think it would also be good to find a meaningful way to celebrate your child on Mother’s Day. For me it’s been difficult because I not only lost my daughter, but my mom and grandmother. So it’s incredibly hard. It’s as if every which way I look there are reminders of loss. But over the years I continue to try and find a way to see this day in a positive way. To celebrate my friends and family who are mothers. I try. I’m not perfect. It’s hard.
So back at the many little trinkets Brittany made me over years and so very glad I created a little book of her paintings, poems and pictures. I can look at it and know what a beautiful girl she was and the sweet soul any mother would cherish.
May all of you find this Mother’s Day a day to celebrate the gift you gave the world and create your own little art to honor your child.
Happy Mother’s Day