Unimaginable Grief Unexpected Blessings

God is an awesome God! I have received so many blessings today. My pain and loss is still heavy, but through these many blessings, I can get through another day.

Praise God Through Whom ALL Blessings Flow!

until next time,

m

Sometimes I wander around aimlessly trying to find something, I’m not sure what. My mind is foggy – can’t think straight. Mostly I feel numb to it all. Nothing or no one can prepare you for the emense pain you feel when you lose a child.

My only comfort is in God. He has my girl now and she deserves to be with him. Free of all the pain and suffering.  I received a card today that made me smile:

 

The daughter you loved filled the world with sunshine….

Now, she surely lights the heavens with a radiance that will never die.

 

until next time,

m

 

Now she is gone and I cannot breathe. The fun-filled girl who lived life to the fullest – my love – my joy – my reason for living is gone. My only comfort is that she no longer suffers and she is with God. But I’m so tired…

Today, October 13th, my daughter Brittany passed away from heart failure. She was 17. I mourn for her, yet I know she is now with God and is healthy. No more seizures. No more pain. No more sadness. How wonderful it must be to be in the presence of God and see the beauty of life with no bad.

I’m am very sad. The reason I live is now gone. I feel as if I have lost my identity. I haven’t felt this much pain since my mom died 18 years ago. Now I have buried my mother, my grandmother and now my daughter. God this sucks! It is everything I can do to breathe.

Leaving her a the hospital was the worst. Even though I know she is in heaven with God. The mother in me didn’t want to leave her.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Malissa

Even in the face of adversity and tribulation – keep loving life. It will come back to you. Especially when you need it the most. That is always when you think you need it the least.

In every way, give thanks to God as he has blessed you in so many ways you don’t even know. Remember – It is always easier to be a nay-sayer than to be positive and see the glass as 1/2 full.

until later,

mercedes

 

Detroit Tigers beat the Yanks in 4 games.  Unbelievable run the Tigers have had. Just hope they can keep it together and take it the distance. Never really been a Tigers fan, but I’ve always been a Pudge Rodriquez fan since my Texas days.

Now for the things we knew would happen:

Michigan 6-0 thanks to Michigan State. Grand Valley State wins again.

Great Day for Michigan Sports.

 

 

Breaking Through

Are you stuck, stymied, blocked etc? Read on….

If you spend more time thinking about what others think or their opinions, you might be blocking your creativity.

Having a fear of failure may come from a fear of being judged or mis-judged. Self-doubt can create anxiety and a fear of failure in people who allow others opinions to override their productivity.

The less you look to others for approval of what you do or what you say, the better your chances of letting the creative juices flow and producing a great product.

Remember, at the end of the day it’s you that’s staring back at you in the mirror. Smile and say to yourself  “I can do anything I put my mind to.”

Keep the faith!

until next time,

Mercedes

Being Grateful Inspite of it all!

Don’t concentrate on how bad things are, focus on how good things are. Things could be so much worse than they are right now.

Keep a journal. Try writing everyday. Good or bad! Funny or Sad! Just write! Color! Sketch! Just get it out!

Remember to breathe!!!!!!!

until later,

Mercedes

In light of my past few days, I’m in awe of the incredible amount of energy it takes to get through each day. Especially when it is emotionally charged. Frustratingly difficult and you feel as if no one is listening.

In reading the “Little Book of Moods” by Jane Eldershaw – the book I have been turning to when  I need a lift. Well besides the Bible. Number 27: drained – getting energy! Bingo! Paydirt!

She talks about how emotionally draining people can make you feel tired. Things to check yourself on or think about to help lift yourself up. I’m thinking “I should have taken this book to Cleveland”.

So if you are feeling drained – try some of these great ideas from Jane:

1. appreciate people who know how to be joyful and make you laugh
2. take every day of vacation you have earned
3. take a minute to smell the oranges – citrus and mint help you stay alert
4. stay hydrated
5. feelings are what give you energy – acknowledge them – even the tiring ones
6. your body has to work harder when you aren’t sitting properly.  Sit Up Straight!

my answers to the above:

1. my daughter makes me laugh – she is so funny
2. I’ve already exhausted my vacation – now I’m borrowing someone else’s – lol
3. I did spray my BeautiControl Herbal Mist on my face all the time over these past days to one STAY AWAKE and two, to try and relax
4. if I drank one more bottle of water I might have burst
5. ok ok – can I now have some of the good ones!
6. ok you got me there – I’m a work in progress!

 

Last thought from Sarah Bernhardt

“Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.”

Thank you Sarah!

 

Until next time,

Mercedes

 

Ok – now we are finally home. Arrived late last night. I’m exhausted. She’s exhausted. We’ve taken today off to regroup and get our game plan on for the next few weeks.

We don’t know much more than before we went, but what we do know is… she is going to require new medications to help control the seizures and we still don’t know why she is having them. They are reviewing all the tests and info and will be getting back to  us in the next few weeks.

Thanks to all for your prayers and concerns.

until next time,

Be grateful everyday for your health. Be grateful everyday for your children and family. Be grateful everyday for the simple things in life. You don’t always know what you have until it’s gone!

Mercedes