I was very  angry and cried most of the day. A complete contrast t the day before. Must have just been building it up. I kicked a few things around and yell and screamed mostly to God. I keep asking for answers – not for why she died – I know that. But what about me – what is my purpose? I am no longer a daughter, granddaughter or mom to the 3 most wonderful women in my life. I was with each one of them at their last breath – giving my appoval of their passage onto a better place. Always leaving me behind – less of a purpose. I feel I have nothing left to give or to have taken away. Im numb to my soul – empty with no desire to stay here.Yet I have to. Kind of like hell on earth.

Pray for me as I continue to listen, look out and study where I go next and what I should do.

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