One More First

Well I made it! Thanks to God and my friends!

I believe Wednesday was far worse than Thursday. I was so emotional on Wednesday, the day before her birthday, that I had spent it all by Thursday. I cried, wailed uncontrollably for so long that it’s as if the tears dried up and there was nothing left to do but move forward.

My co-workers have blessed me many times over with their continued compassion, support, friendship and love. I, in no way can express in the appropriate words how that has gotten me through the most darkest time in my life. With God and you guys – it has been possible for me to see hope in my future on days when I wondered if it was possible. THANK YOU and THANKS BE TO GOD!

I continue to struggle with some aspects of my loss – mostly in that I miss her. Her Voice. Her Laugh. Mostly Her Contagious Smile. God Blessed me so to be her mom for such a short time. I know he smiles at me in joy that I finally get the message he has sent me many times and I didn’t listen.

Well – I’m listening now.

To my dear friends and to those who may read this…GOD is waiting for you to listen too. Make sure you are listening to the messages from Heaven…The gift of eternal life in Heaven with GOD and to reunite with anyone who has gone before you is awaiting you. I personally can not wait until then. But for now, I must continue to work towards that goal and to try to take as many of you with me as possible.

Much love and peace

until next time,

Mal

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One thought on “One More First

  1. Hey there,
    Just catching up on your blog. You know, I thank GOD everyday for bringing us together. You have know idea how much you have helped me since we first met. I am not a person who can always find the words to say how I feel, so if this doesn’t make much sense please understand I am just writing from my heart. I have been hurt so many times by those who have said they were my “friend”. I let them into my life and then get burned. It takes sometime for me to let my guard down and try again. I feel comfortable talking to you and sharing my thoughts,although sometimes crazy, with you. You are an amazing person and a great friend. I am glad that I was the one you called on the day Brittany died and I am grateful to you for allowing me to help you. Yes it was difficult for me but I felt that GOD was calling me to be with you and I knew that he would help me to help you. I continue to ask for his help to ease your pain and I know that he is helping you. I will continue to support you and be there for you in anyway I can. I too am thankful for our co-workers for their support. They have supported me also. We will get through this. You have talked alot lately about “purpose”. I have thought about that alot myself. Do we really know our purpose here on earth? I guess mine is to be a mother as well as a wife and friend. But you know, sometimes I feel that it is just not enough, my heart is drawing me somewhere else. I am happy being a mother,wife and friend but I too feel that I may have another purpose in life and have just not found it yet. God only knows what our purpose here on earth is. We must just follow his lead. Thank you for coming into my life and allowing me to be a part of yours. I am your friend forever.(even though I am #3) Until later.
    Love ya,
    Denise (aka “red”)

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