I have come to realize that life can be filled with so many levels of emotions and all within a nano second of each other.

One minute I am happy and having a fun time, and then smack, I am thinking of something and I just get so overwhelmingly blue. I cried my self to sleep last night. Because I miss her so much and I have no one to even come close to sharing that type of affection to or with. Human nature needs that closeness. But I wonder too if I had it would it be enough to sustain me.

I know God gives me enough peace to breathe, but it not enough to feel physical relief. Now I must go on knowing someday I’ll have that again.

I’ve come to realize that I stay so busy in order to not feel the pain. It works for the most part. Not always, but it’s beginning to fail me now. It’s clear to me I have to work on my faith that God will take all my pain and sorrow and provide comfort in every area. I’m still working on that. I haven’t gotten there and I know I will – keep praying for me.

As I begin my new chapter in this life of mine, I pray for guidance to make the right choices, peace to sustain me while I live without my daughter, hope that I will see her again soon.

until next time,


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