Today proved to be a day that was full of surprises. I know that my last post was very dark and it caused quite the stir among some of my friends. But those who truly know me, know that I MUST write in order to survive. I choose writing instead of medication. I choose words that bleed from my heart so that it can heal from the pain that I feel as I enter an empty home.

Believe when I say that it is not a daily occurrence that I have these moments, but they do still happen and they will always happen from time to time. Unless you have walked in these shoes, you will not or could not know how difficult some days can be. I will not apologize for having moments of grief for my daughter. I will not apologize for wanting her back so bad that I can’t breathe. I will not apologize for wanting the experience of seeing my girl get married and having children. I will not apologize for wanting what you have.

Thanks to many of my closest friends and family, I have made great strides in my journey. And I am a fighter and will continue to keep moving forward. One day hoping to love again. But the journey will not be easy, but it is the journey that will make me a better person. It will be a journey that will honor my daughter’s memory.

The beautiful vision through a fractured vantage point has blossomed into a reflection of what can be if one has great people standing with them. I am blessed to have that.

until next time

m