Author: Grief Blessings

Breaking Through

Are you stuck, stymied, blocked etc? Read on….

If you spend more time thinking about what others think or their opinions, you might be blocking your creativity.

Having a fear of failure may come from a fear of being judged or mis-judged. Self-doubt can create anxiety and a fear of failure in people who allow others opinions to override their productivity.

The less you look to others for approval of what you do or what you say, the better your chances of letting the creative juices flow and producing a great product.

Remember, at the end of the day it’s you that’s staring back at you in the mirror. Smile and say to yourself  “I can do anything I put my mind to.”

Keep the faith!

until next time,

Mercedes

Being Grateful Inspite of it all!

Don’t concentrate on how bad things are, focus on how good things are. Things could be so much worse than they are right now.

Keep a journal. Try writing everyday. Good or bad! Funny or Sad! Just write! Color! Sketch! Just get it out!

Remember to breathe!!!!!!!

until later,

Mercedes

In light of my past few days, I’m in awe of the incredible amount of energy it takes to get through each day. Especially when it is emotionally charged. Frustratingly difficult and you feel as if no one is listening.

In reading the “Little Book of Moods” by Jane Eldershaw – the book I have been turning to when  I need a lift. Well besides the Bible. Number 27: drained – getting energy! Bingo! Paydirt!

She talks about how emotionally draining people can make you feel tired. Things to check yourself on or think about to help lift yourself up. I’m thinking “I should have taken this book to Cleveland”.

So if you are feeling drained – try some of these great ideas from Jane:

1. appreciate people who know how to be joyful and make you laugh
2. take every day of vacation you have earned
3. take a minute to smell the oranges – citrus and mint help you stay alert
4. stay hydrated
5. feelings are what give you energy – acknowledge them – even the tiring ones
6. your body has to work harder when you aren’t sitting properly.  Sit Up Straight!

my answers to the above:

1. my daughter makes me laugh – she is so funny
2. I’ve already exhausted my vacation – now I’m borrowing someone else’s – lol
3. I did spray my BeautiControl Herbal Mist on my face all the time over these past days to one STAY AWAKE and two, to try and relax
4. if I drank one more bottle of water I might have burst
5. ok ok – can I now have some of the good ones!
6. ok you got me there – I’m a work in progress!

Last thought from Sarah Bernhardt

“Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.”

Thank you Sarah!

Until next time,

Mercedes

Ok – now we are finally home. Arrived late last night. I’m exhausted. She’s exhausted. We’ve taken today off to regroup and get our game plan on for the next few weeks.

We don’t know much more than before we went, but what we do know is… she is going to require new medications to help control the seizures and we still don’t know why she is having them. They are reviewing all the tests and info and will be getting back to  us in the next few weeks.

Thanks to all for your prayers and concerns.

until next time,

Be grateful everyday for your health. Be grateful everyday for your children and family. Be grateful everyday for the simple things in life. You don’t always know what you have until it’s gone!

Mercedes

Day 4 – Monday Discharge Day

Today we got more info, but not without pressing for more than “we are working on it”. Today�the�specialist�said she is definitely having Petit Mal Seizures and they are happening a lot. I asked how many on average daily and got no definitive answer. Later her NNP told me it was hard to tell where the clinical (see it) seizure activity ends and the non-clinical (can’t see it) seizure activity begins. In other words, she’s having seizures so often that at times they are merging together. Some we see and some we don’t. Some last for 10-20 sec with some motor activity and some are just brief starring episodes lasting 5 seconds. Sometimes she’s aware of them and sometimes she’s not. This was happening without any changes to her meds.

Now we are able to start changing medications, but it will be a very SLOW process. That is very hard to deal with. It’s only been at least 1 year since this increase in seizures started.

I want so much for her to be independant and be happy. Go to college, do normal stuff. Is that so much to ask? It’s what most parents want for their children. If only those parents of normal, healthy children knew how lucky they are to not have this worry.

I am so lucky to have my daughter. I’m grateful for every minute with her – good or bad. I’ve been blessed every step of the way with her. She’s beautiful, smart, creative and most of all, the best daughter. I only want the best for her.

Tomorrow – Tuesday we are seeing a Metabolic / White Brain Matter Neuro specialist to review the underlying cause of her increased seizure activity. After that appointment, we should be on the road back to GR. I anticipate being home sometime around 10pm. Tuesday evening.

I will write more later,

Well it has been very busy and very boring here at the Cleveland Clinic. I would have to say I am very disappointed in the progress here. And we’ve had at least one med error possibly two. I’ve had to watch them a lot closer. She got her Zonegran (600 mg) twice in one day. Her max dose is 600mg once daily. She was really tired, but no other side effects. I asked to have her hydrated with IV, but they felt it wasn’t necessary. It’s hard to stay on top of everyone when you’ve had little to no sleep for 3 days. Urg. But, we did get her meds reduced down to two and then an increase in one of the remaining meds. Her seizures were confirmed on monitoring and they are generalized in nature. No particular foci – so that’s good news. Because that means her seizures are not coming from a new area. She does believe that she’s on too many meds and too many meds that aren’t doing anything. She also feels that her doctor in GR should be able to manage her from there following her plan of care she is developing for us to return with. So it’s not a sudden fix, or concrete plan. But she did say that if there is no change or she backslides, then immediate changes need to be made with other drugs. No adding them, but stopping others and adding the new.

So – in some ways, I feel this has been a disappointing trip, but in others, a justification that she is on too many meds and that will be adjusted in the hopes of getting her down to only one or 2 meds in the end.

The white brain matter doc will probably see us tomorrow to go over this findings and suggestions. I know they are running more tests tomorrow but still we should be able to come home.

unil next time,

Mercedes

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OH – GO MICHIGAN 4-0 – WHAOOOO

Too bad MS didn’t learn from Michigan on how to handle Notre Dame – HAHAHAHAHAH

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Well – update day 1

We’ve been in Cleveland for 24 hours. We’ve been very busy seeing many doctors and specialists regarding Brit’s seizures. Now we are just waiting and she is monitored 24/7 on a unit. It’s very secure here. No one gets in or out w/o a lot of scrutiny.

We are optimistic that we will get some answers soon. Tomorrow will be more interersting. Her meds will be discontinued and restarted.

Keep us in your prayers while we undergo this treatment. But it does look like we have an excellent team here at the Cleveland Clinic.

until later,

Mercedes

Epictetus taught that some things are in our power and some things are not. Examples of some things that are in our power are:

Opinion
Movement toward a thing
Desire
Aversion (turning from a thing)
in a word – whatever are our own acts

Things that are not in our power:

body
property
reputation
offices (magisterial power)
in a word – whatever are not our own acts

With this in mind, consider this…

If you then desire (aim at) such great things, remember that you must not (attempt to) lay hold of them with a small effort; but you must leave alone some things entirely, and postpone others for the present. But if you wish for these things also (such great things), and the power (office) and wealth, perhaps you will not gain even these very things. – exerpted from The Encheiridion: The Manual for Living 2005

What to take from this…..

Focus on one thing and give it everything you can. Otherwise if you try and spread yourself too thin attempting to attain it all, you’ll probably end up with nothing.

What a wake up call! Esp. for me.

until later

Mercedes