Very busy week. I’m doing ok. Still battling this retched cold/flu whatever u want to call it. I’m hoping that time off work will help.
It’s finally winter here. And, I am reminded why I dislike winter. It’s just too cold.
Have a great rest of the week.
mercedes
Today’s message at church was suppose to be about how to handle your finances…it turned out to be a very clear message about what is to come…
Some thing’s to ponder….
Instead of asking why I can’t have something…ask – why do I have so much?
When God comes he will destroy the earth by fire…everything you have will be gone – even your 401K!
How can you use what you have to further the ministry of God?
The life you live today is an audition for your role in heaven!
in other words….
Those you touch today will be who receives you in heaven.
My question for you is:
Don’t you want to have millions of people at your reception party in heaven?
Think about that as you begin your week- how can you serve our God with the possessions you have been given. Who can you help today? Whose life can you make better or whose face can you put a smile on? These things are what we have been commanded to do in the name of our Father in heaven. These are the treasures you are storing up in heaven and will make your entry into heaven a glorious day indeed.
until next time,
Mercedes
I was looking at the DVD of her “Celebration of Life” aka funeral. It’s been 11 weeks since I saw it the first time 1 week after her death. I actually made it through without breaking down. Just a bit tearful. But it amazes me today – how she touched so many people. How she loved so many unconditionally. How she loved God and grew in her faith.
What a proud moment as a parent to have such wonderful memories. Having her made me a better person. The one thing I took from seeing the video again is something Clayton said in his speech…she loved everyone….no matter what they thought about her….she saw the beauty in life despite how tremendously difficult her life had become….she was so in love….she was so happy at the end….she is and always will be our hero. I will always try to live my life for her and through her memory I hope to become more like her.
Love You Brittany!!!!!!
until later,
m
The battle continues…..
My faith in life is being tested….my faith in my self is being tested….my faith in God is being tested. In everything, I am being tested. It’s a pass or fail result.
Sadness beyond belief has overcome me…
Despite my hard fight
I continue to battle
the enemy. The battle
rages 24 hours of every
day with unrelenting
pounding down of my soul.
My heart is broken into
many pieces and lies here
before you fractured beyond
repair.
Can you hear me wail? Can
you see my pain? Do you know
it will never go away? It’s never
ending. They say it will get better,
they are wrong. They say that because
they don’t know what else
to say to me.
I do see one thing so very
clearly…I don’t have anything
left. No energy, no worth, no
life, no meaning, nothing.
I travel through my day numb
from all the pain I feel. I have tried
to put on the game face, but I am
tired of playing in a game I didn’t
ask to play in.
would you?
Happy New Year’s Message
Yesterday during the sermon at my church, I heard the following scripture that gave me the strength to see how the new year could be so much better than 2006….
God continues to bless me daily with people and help to get through the most difficult time in my life. As I begin the new year, my challenge is to live a life that God would be proud of. That magnifies his name. That helps others because in that life, I can help myself.
My challenge for you – my friends….
Inspire everyone – even the ones you don’t get a long with.
Offer hope – it just takes a minute to make a difference in someone’s life.
Live by example – even when it makes you uncomfortable.
May God Bless you all as you begin this new year.
Remember – Brittany lived by the above and showed us how it can change people’s lives in ways we don’t even know or understand! Don’t forget her and what she did for us all. Even in her death.
until later,
M
I have had a few rough days…
Christmas Eve was extremely difficult, but I was comforted by friends and God. Being at church gives me so much comfort and I feel closest to God and to Brittany.
Now I am facing the New Year without her. It’s the absolute worst feeling in the world. I continue to be conflicted between my position in faith and my emptiness of motherhood. I was so lucky to have had 17 years with her. I just wish I’d known that before she died. I know I loved her so much. I wanted so much for her to be happy. Really – she was in the end. I do believe that Andy did that for her. And that God brought Andy and Brittany together because he knew they both needed it. And that I needed to see she could be loved by someone else besides her family. Really not many people in my family knew her well. What they usually saw was how difficult it was to raise her. All of her medical needs/issues were overwhelming sometimes – and living away in other states where there was no family – well it removed most of our family from the day-to-day trials of raising a chronically ill child.
Nevertheless, I would never trade it for anything. It has made me the person I am today. It will continue to influence every decision I make and every person I come in contact with. Why – because it was the way she lived. She touched so many she came in contact with – even at her Celebration of Life. I still get messages and cards from people who just want to tell me how much her story has affected them.
What a blessing to have now. It comforts me beyond belief. Yet it also reminds me of how much I have lost. My one and only child. My one and only love. My one and only.
until later,
m
Merry Christmas Everyone!
I have been reading a book by Dr. John Terveen titled “Hope for the Brokenhearted” and the following is a passage that I took as if I had written it – it is where I stand today…
I can see that, yet it is just beginning for me. Ironically, I just turned on the TV to my church’s weekly Sunday service while getting ready for going to church and OH MY – the message is on HOPE! God truly sends me messages and people that bring me hope whenever I need it most.
You just have to be open to receive. Stay with me – The DEVIL is lurking everywhere you go – always looking for an opportunity to take away your hope. Be careful and take comfort in God’s peace and protection! You must ask him into your life and then give your life to him. Walk with God and God will walk with you.
Many Blessings as we celebrate the greatest birth of all time, Jesus Christ our Lord!
until later,
M
Today Show – they were talking about being alone for the holidays. Whether because you had a loss/death or recent divorce – it’s important to know it’s ok to be sad and to mourn and not feel ashamed. That’s hard! But they definitely said to not be alone. Interesting how God keeps sending these learning opportunities my way. Also really eerie, but I’m truly glad for is, when I read the Bible now – I understand so much more than I have before. I used to struggle with the meaning in the scripture – now it’s as if my eyes have been opened and I get it.
God continues to bless me everyday in so many ways – the pain of missing her is unbearable and I just struggle emotionally to get through everyday. I have never felt so unimportant or not needed as I do now – yet I keep getting signs from God that I do matter. I’m very confused. I’m very tired. I can’t seem to get over this infection/virus. Second round of antibiotics, new meds. I have trouble clearing my throat. Keep a prayer for me.
I’ve asked, prayed, begged God to take it away from me. I cannot possibly keep sustaining myself with this relentless attack on my body. Emotionally and physically I am exhausted beyond belief. I ask God too – how can I help others when I feel this bad. If it is my purpose to minister to others now, how can I do that when I feel like I’m about to choke to death. Sometimes I feel I cannot get a break. It is a daily struggle to keep going. I know I do get glimpses of hope, but I do feel like I’m being bombarded at every turn. I just need to get some happiness somewhere in my life – I just don’t see that happening.
until later,
m
Unimaginable Grief Unexpected Blessings 
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